lateral thinking

Arrived at Film Farm late afternoon Monday 14th after another lecture. Tuesday we recorded my sound for the Elveden film and Charles did his Brangwyn voice again, then we buckled down and got yet another section of the film completed - we're positively racing through editing these days - without loss of perfection I hasten to add!
On Thursday it started to snow and by Friday we were surrounded by a veritable winter wonderland (unfortunately I'd left my camera at home, silly girl). Also unfortunately this was the day I had to drive up to Thornton to collect my mother for the Christmas festivities. Lincolnshire was pretty snowed under but once I got to the A1 it was fairly clear. By the time I neared York it started snowing again and the windscreen washer froze. Arrived at my mother's house to discover that not one, but TWO cars had slid off the hill into her not insubstantial stone front wall the previous evening. The wall didn't look too happy - heaven knows what the cars looked like.
It snowed even more overnight. Friday morning I cleared the drive of snow and ice pulling a muscle in my back in the process (not on purpose you understand), loaded up the car and we set off at 10.30 for what is usually a 5 hour journey. The windscreen washer still wasn't working despite my filling it up with de-icer and the roads were throwing up slushy grit mix. A filthy windscreen combined with a bright low sun makes for hazardous driving conditions and necessitated frequent stops to clean said windscreen. The roads weren't too awful but everyone was being cautious and taking it fairly slowly. Finally arrived at Cambridge Waitrose an hour later than anticipated for a re-fuelling (us, not the car) and a quick shop for fodder. We set off again as the sun started to set, making the snow covered fields glow warmly, and dusk wasn't as bad as usual because the white countryside lightened everything. Delays on the M25 due to roadworks, slow moving traffic on the QE2 bridge and then back to Kent where there were huge problems. The radio had alerted me to the fact that parts of the M20 were closed for Operation stack (when they use the motorway as a lorry park when ferries are delayed or not sailing), and as a result the A20 was congested. Minor delays were reported in Dover. So I decided to take the M2 and the A2 down to Dover and back home on the M20 northbound. However as we approached the outskirts of Dover we were gridlocked. Nothing moving, cars and lorries solid on a dual carriageway with no way out - not even a hard shoulder to drive down illegally. Drivers were walking along the road comparing notes, some locals caught in the queue reckoned we could be stuck for at least 4 hours if not overnight. By this time it was back down to freezing and I obviously had to get my 91 year old mother out of this predicament.
So I thought up a cunning plan - I put on the hazard warning lights, told my mother to lie back and look grey, and then approached the drivers of cars ahead of me explaining my anxiety - they all kindly moved over so I could drive past, then I approached the drivers in front of them etc etc and it worked like magic until a white van man was sceptical about my passenger and plan. At this point the traffic moved marginally enabling me to squeeze off the road at the next junction. It transpired almost every road in Dover and Folkestone was blocked, stationary - after many illegalities (U-turns on roundabouts, driving the wrong way along a dual carriageway, weaving in and out of parked lorries) we finally made it home exactly 10 hours after setting off. And half an hour later I'd cooked roast smoked salmon, couscous and broccoli served up with more than a dash of much needed warming red wine!
Now to put up some Christmas decorations and prepare 4 festive meals for 12 people before we set off for the west country on Christmas eve where I'm chief cook (but hopefully not bottle washer)!
Have a good Christmas - and next spring we WILL finally complete and publish FBSG!